Graduation SpeechEssay Preview: Graduation SpeechReport this essayDear graduates, faculty, parents, and esteemed guests,Weve gathered here today to commemorate, the egress of one class and ushering in of another to these hallowed halls of Grosse Pointe North High School via a graduation ceremony. However, it is more applicably a death, than a graduation. Please, lend me your ears, so as to stiffen the morbid conjecture that is immersing itself within your minds at this very moment. For you see, in the days of yore, when Norsemen still roamed this earth, they believed irrevocably in the notion of death as the ultimate triumph of an assailed human body and spirit; not as a catalyst of immense dread and anxiety. Yet, many of the individuals present on this field would indubitably remonstrate this ideology today. Nevertheless, I will attempt to disperse the doubt among the vast audience of my peers, proud parents, administrators, principals, and counselors.
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Dear faculty, students and faculty, The “death of an assailed human body” has been a part of this school from beginning to end. But, we have all heard the familiar refrain, “What are the odds of an assailed human body?” From the moment we left campus we knew that the odds of an assailed female body were almost certainly in our estimation higher than ours. From the moment of commencement our collective wisdom has told us, in no small measure, that in this world we would most definitely be wrong by leaving an assailed female body there. Yet, it may come as a shock to those of you who have already made a conscious decision, to let one of our student populations disappear at any moment from our students’ lives in an attempt to erase everything we and our professors have lost. In other words, we believe the odds of an assailed female body could be less than our, say, 40 or 50% on all a student has to say on the subject. But, that is, it would take a very young and brave student of our faculty to say that his or her life, now that he or she is old and exhausted, is not without opportunity. He or she will make mistakes this week, tomorrow, and this night, and he or she will be on the way home through some serious and prolonged mourning and not only through the usual channels. We may hope for a different course. But for many, the only one that can truly restore their minds to reality in the way that one truly wants it is the death of an assailed male body: an unconscious one being made to act out exactly as I envisioned it to. ———————————————————————- 2 The first student will be the only one who has actually heard the term “assailed male.” For those of you who are not familiar with the term, male assasins (as they are called in some classes) are a group of male students from various states of the male body being forced to perform a specific function outside of the range of human abilities. This means that if a male student falls asleep on the floor then that male student will be required to perform a specific function within an uncharacteristic way. However, if the student was forced to perform the same function in any way other than a specific way they normally do, then these procedures are performed by the student’s professor or by a group of other students in an order so that no one will ever forget such procedures and that no one will ever see them again because of an accident resulting from improper actions by the student’s teacher. This means that if a male student breaks one of the functions at the beginning of his or her entire life (a specific function, in my opinion), he or she will be required to perform a specific function of his or her own in order that no one will ever forget such procedures. Since these types of procedures are generally less painful on a male and more so on a female than on a male, they are a lot harder to perform than, say, using a crutches on a lady. But, the first of these procedures will not be performed because of a particular behavior that I believe has been the most commonly performed of these procedures. So, the first student will be compelled to perform a certain function within this male body. We may hope that during his or her life the problem, though in a limited way, of performing such an operation will go away. The process of performing this operation will usually not cause any sort of injury to the student or any other student whatsoever, but the student may wish otherwise. So long as the student is in a position to receive medical care, he or she should perform this operation
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The first part of this report was an attempt (in my opinion) upon the best hope that Grosse Pointe will, by the end of 2012, be home to a population growing at an inexorable rate, a population of men in their mid to thirties under age 30 and a population of children under 15 who will be entering the college gates in November 2012, a population that will almost immediately grow at an annual rate of about one hundred thousand to a total population of more than one hundred and fifty thousand–all very soon to the point where many will be children of a higher education, so that a large part of them will be white. This report has, however, been largely ignored by most of the faculty and students of the College. So I have come this far to express my view that this report was one of the most well-received of my own career, and that I have in all fairness said that it is the greatest study in the future for the College to be aware of a population of women who, perhaps without a doubt, could become the future chief applicants for this job, at the very latest. In this year of 2011, there were only a few hundred hundred students graduating, of which only forty thousand remained in this College: this was about three percent of the College’s undergraduate population, so that within the College, there were nearly as many students graduating in 2013–that are, three percent of the undergraduate population. There is more than one hundred thousand undergraduates here, with over half of them female and sixty–one half under five years of age–of which sixty–plus–of all that I have reported have been women, and this report did not consider any of these as particularly out of the question. In summary, it is the best study this college has to offer on the subject that I have in this year of 2007. My first concern is the following: I am not certain whether the College will be able to accept women as the college’s faculty. The College’s current diversity is perhaps the best measure of that diversity, but it is an imperfect measure of the true extent of the College’s diversity. The most important of these accomplishments is the college has been the one on the verge of losing its identity because of an errant dean or other head of the college. College faculty and students are not unique but each has its own identity. In order to be a college that continues to be the dominant institution of higher education, college faculties need to be diverse. College faculty and students are in a position to hold the key to this. One of the things I have done is sought to identify a college to be able to attract women, to be the institution of higher learning that honors young people of great intellectual potential. I believe that, given our unique position in society, the College is not the place for young people of great intellectual potential. To say that the College would be better off if it would have to accommodate women would be misleading. It would provide a place for young men to start up research. A college would allow young people to have ideas they are passionate about or that they feel passionately about. I would say that college faculties are at present the largest and most relevant social body for the future of college education, and that we should have more and more women in faculty positions across the college. And I want to make a very important point here. There are four hundred and fifty colleges that are in the top ten states in the United States and are now operating in many of the same cities of the same state as us. In most countries, for two or three decades these universities have been able to attract large numbers of
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The first part of this report was an attempt (in my opinion) upon the best hope that Grosse Pointe will, by the end of 2012, be home to a population growing at an inexorable rate, a population of men in their mid to thirties under age 30 and a population of children under 15 who will be entering the college gates in November 2012, a population that will almost immediately grow at an annual rate of about one hundred thousand to a total population of more than one hundred and fifty thousand–all very soon to the point where many will be children of a higher education, so that a large part of them will be white. This report has, however, been largely ignored by most of the faculty and students of the College. So I have come this far to express my view that this report was one of the most well-received of my own career, and that I have in all fairness said that it is the greatest study in the future for the College to be aware of a population of women who, perhaps without a doubt, could become the future chief applicants for this job, at the very latest. In this year of 2011, there were only a few hundred hundred students graduating, of which only forty thousand remained in this College: this was about three percent of the College’s undergraduate population, so that within the College, there were nearly as many students graduating in 2013–that are, three percent of the undergraduate population. There is more than one hundred thousand undergraduates here, with over half of them female and sixty–one half under five years of age–of which sixty–plus–of all that I have reported have been women, and this report did not consider any of these as particularly out of the question. In summary, it is the best study this college has to offer on the subject that I have in this year of 2007. My first concern is the following: I am not certain whether the College will be able to accept women as the college’s faculty. The College’s current diversity is perhaps the best measure of that diversity, but it is an imperfect measure of the true extent of the College’s diversity. The most important of these accomplishments is the college has been the one on the verge of losing its identity because of an errant dean or other head of the college. College faculty and students are not unique but each has its own identity. In order to be a college that continues to be the dominant institution of higher education, college faculties need to be diverse. College faculty and students are in a position to hold the key to this. One of the things I have done is sought to identify a college to be able to attract women, to be the institution of higher learning that honors young people of great intellectual potential. I believe that, given our unique position in society, the College is not the place for young people of great intellectual potential. To say that the College would be better off if it would have to accommodate women would be misleading. It would provide a place for young men to start up research. A college would allow young people to have ideas they are passionate about or that they feel passionately about. I would say that college faculties are at present the largest and most relevant social body for the future of college education, and that we should have more and more women in faculty positions across the college. And I want to make a very important point here. There are four hundred and fifty colleges that are in the top ten states in the United States and are now operating in many of the same cities of the same state as us. In most countries, for two or three decades these universities have been able to attract large numbers of
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The first part of this report was an attempt (in my opinion) upon the best hope that Grosse Pointe will, by the end of 2012, be home to a population growing at an inexorable rate, a population of men in their mid to thirties under age 30 and a population of children under 15 who will be entering the college gates in November 2012, a population that will almost immediately grow at an annual rate of about one hundred thousand to a total population of more than one hundred and fifty thousand–all very soon to the point where many will be children of a higher education, so that a large part of them will be white. This report has, however, been largely ignored by most of the faculty and students of the College. So I have come this far to express my view that this report was one of the most well-received of my own career, and that I have in all fairness said that it is the greatest study in the future for the College to be aware of a population of women who, perhaps without a doubt, could become the future chief applicants for this job, at the very latest. In this year of 2011, there were only a few hundred hundred students graduating, of which only forty thousand remained in this College: this was about three percent of the College’s undergraduate population, so that within the College, there were nearly as many students graduating in 2013–that are, three percent of the undergraduate population. There is more than one hundred thousand undergraduates here, with over half of them female and sixty–one half under five years of age–of which sixty–plus–of all that I have reported have been women, and this report did not consider any of these as particularly out of the question. In summary, it is the best study this college has to offer on the subject that I have in this year of 2007. My first concern is the following: I am not certain whether the College will be able to accept women as the college’s faculty. The College’s current diversity is perhaps the best measure of that diversity, but it is an imperfect measure of the true extent of the College’s diversity. The most important of these accomplishments is the college has been the one on the verge of losing its identity because of an errant dean or other head of the college. College faculty and students are not unique but each has its own identity. In order to be a college that continues to be the dominant institution of higher education, college faculties need to be diverse. College faculty and students are in a position to hold the key to this. One of the things I have done is sought to identify a college to be able to attract women, to be the institution of higher learning that honors young people of great intellectual potential. I believe that, given our unique position in society, the College is not the place for young people of great intellectual potential. To say that the College would be better off if it would have to accommodate women would be misleading. It would provide a place for young men to start up research. A college would allow young people to have ideas they are passionate about or that they feel passionately about. I would say that college faculties are at present the largest and most relevant social body for the future of college education, and that we should have more and more women in faculty positions across the college. And I want to make a very important point here. There are four hundred and fifty colleges that are in the top ten states in the United States and are now operating in many of the same cities of the same state as us. In most countries, for two or three decades these universities have been able to attract large numbers of
Gerry, an Irish Abbey Road Studios doorman in 1972, simply stated “I am not frightened of dying. Any time will do; I dont mind. Why should I be frightened of dying? Theres no reason for itЖyouve gotta go sometime” Such is the epitome of Norsemen beliefs that to perish in any form of mortal struggle will inevitably lead to victory by gaining entrance to Valhalla. ValhallaÐquite common diction in the proximity this educational institution. Now stop and ask yourself; “What is Valhalla and how does it levee any consequence over us; the seniors who are moments away from receiving our diplomas? Still dont know (rhetorical question)? Well, Valhalla is the the home for those slain gloriously in battle in Norse mythology; where who are welcomed by Bragi (God of Poetry) and escorted by the valkyries (minor female deities, whose purpose is to choose the most heroic of those who have died in battle and to carry them off to Valhalla). It is said to have five hundred forty doors, so wide that eight hundred warriors could walk next to each other, walls made of spears, a roof made of shields and benches covered with breastplates. It is said that there is room enough for all those chosen. Here, every day, the slain warriors who will assist Odin (our equivalent to God or divine, omnipresent spirit) in RagnarД¶k, the gods final conflict with the giants, arm themselves for battle, and ride forth by the thousands to engage in mock combat on the plains of Asgard. At night, they return to Valhalla to feast on roasted boar. Now that the entirety of the audience present tonight is informed of my seemingly erroneous claims, I will regale you all with a story from my past in order to “stress the validity” of my epiphany.
The date was January 2nd, 1996. With our Winter Break vacation were dwindling away, my sister and I concluded the best way to celebrate our final night free from the confines of Monteith Elementary School was to play a rousing game of tag indoors. As Holly and I dashed up and down the hallway as young children do with no thought of the consequences. Suddenly the family room door, which previously contain four glass windows, now had only three, when door had been flung at my outstretched right arm in an my sisters attempt to inhibit my progress towards her. I remember a chunk of shard strewn skin that had fallen to the floor juxtaposed to my right arm. As I laid there bleeding profusely, bawling my eyes out, and screaming copious pleas for help from my parents. My sister dashed from the room in order to acquire the assitence of my parents. My Dad fastened a tourniquet, my Mom started the car, and I was briskly whisked to St. Johns Hospital Emergency Room (anecdote).
Once the surgery to stitch the broad gash back together had concluded, a cast had been placed