You Know You Live in La When
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Youre driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends
You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder
Youre sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day
You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch
You see purple and gold and the word “Threepeat” on every corner
You begin to “lie” to your friends about where you are (i.e. “Yeah Im like 20 minutes away”) – when you know that itll take you at least an hour to get there).
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal
You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking itll be your favorite Laker or WB star.
You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman
You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie
You know its best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about “twenty minutes”.
You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.
Youve inadvertently learned Spanish.
Youve got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.
In the “winter”, you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
Youve bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.
You know what “sigalert”, “PCH”, and “the five” mean.
Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros.
If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, youre definitely driving.
You have a gym membership because its mandatory.
Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.
You cant fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.
When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.
Youve trespassed through private property to get to the “Hollywood” sign.
Youve partied in Tijuana at least once.
You know Hollywood has a “lake”.
You dont stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
Youve lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.
Youve ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
You think that Venice is a beach.
You drive next to a Rolls Royce and dont notice.
Youve started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DONT WALK sign started flashing.
Youve never listened to NPR.
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
You have a favorite Thai restaurant.
You think Johnnny Rockets is an accurate depiction of a diner.
You think Manhattan is a beach.
You eat pineapple on pizza.
Youve been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.
When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: “With/Without traffic.”
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An “818” would never