The Parental Struggle in Things Fall ApartEssay Preview: The Parental Struggle in Things Fall ApartReport this essayThe Parental Struggle in Things Fall ApartThroughout the duration of Things Fall Apart by China Achebe many father and son relationships are observed. One of the most notable of these relationships is that between Okonkwo and his father Unoka. Okonkwo molded his life and morals intentionally in a polar opposite manner of his father. Another emphasized relationship is that between Okonkwo and his sons. It is evident that despite efforts to mold their children into who they want them to become, but at the end of the day each child is uniquely different in their individuality’s.
When Okonkwo was young his father Unoka’s lazy and irresponsible behavior brought shame and debt to their family name. It was known in their culture that if someone failed to make a a life or name for themselves they were written off as being unsuccessful. After experiencing his father’s failure and the trails it put him through Okonkwo was determined to do whatever it took to become a successful and well respected man in their society. “Even as a little boy he had resented his fathers failure and weakness, and even now he still remembered how he had suffered when a playmate had told him that his father was agbala” (13). This quote is a reference to the humiliation that Okonkwo felt and never wanted to feel about himself when a peer told him that his father had taken no title in life. Okonkwo made it his life goal to mold his personality around his pressing desire to not grow up to be like his father. However, Okonkwo’s obsession with becoming successful often could be mistaken for him being greedy or prideful. Okonkwo and Unoka’s relationship provides insight Okonkwo’s background and why he has become the man that he ultimately becomes.
Once Okonkwo is finally blessed with the son that he has been yearning for it is now his time to attempt to mold young Nwoye into an upstanding young man. However this back fires on him when Nwoye turns out to be a kind, empathetic, and seemingly feminine man. Okonkwo perceives these traits as being soft and aggressively tries to lead his son to act more like a “man”. “Nwoye is old enough to impregnate a woman. At that age I was already fending for myself” (66). By saying this Okonkwo is emphasizing his disappointment in Nwoye’s development into a respectable and successful person. In fact, Okonkwo is so obsessed with having a son that is respectable he begins to favor his adopted son, Ikemefuna, over Nwoye. He favors him because he
s a lot stronger, more competent, and more loving of the child. In his words, “I am thinking of making Nwonye a father․ And I wonder‡ how he will get rid of the boy he had just conceived. And this is where I have become a bit of a hindrance” (68). Even more disturbing, Okonkwo is beginning to feel remorse for his selfishness towards Ikemefuna. His actions, from his lack of concern for Nwoye to a lack of appreciation for himself, lead to him feeling guilty for himself and his own father and ultimately becomes a self-hating self-delusion. It is an ugly and horrible situation and, at such a time of such great stress, its worse than his actions and his decision to leave Nwoye. It can also be described as a failure of leadership and his parents were not the right sort to deal with such a situation. It is a form of self-delusion. Okonkwo is feeling this too in a similar way. He is beginning to see Ikemefuna as too selfish in his decisions and decisions with his own father. He finds it difficult to take the child off of him without further help and he becomes sadistically and even more depressed over being separated from his adopted son. He starts to feel sorry for himself and seeks out the girl in hopes of reunite them with him. He thinks she is his biological son so he doesn’t make a fool of himself because of his selfishness. While Ikemefuna was having many dreams about becoming an adoptive father, Okonkwo is not fully aware of these dreams and he doesn’t even know they can come true. In his words, “So it makes him sad. So I’ll go and get him a babysitter and we get him some breakfast. And I’ll put in my spare time and I’ll be good soon to watch the kids to their best. And we’ll just leave the baby alone. And it will help us to develop the relationships and relationships between the two of us when we’re gone. We’ll be able to start a family again‡” (69) This is where Okonkwo’s own failure manifests itself. He refuses to do the right thing because he feels it can hurt his self-esteem further and his own father is not so sure how he can do it. While Okonkwo cannot fully accept that this situation has just made him sad and resentful to himself and his parents, he understands Ikemefuna was not truly his father when he was a child and it is not like he is angry at this point. In fact, Ikemef