Football Satire
Essay Preview: Football Satire
Report this essay
Women During The NFL Season
It is that time of year again; the NFL is kicking off another season. Millions of men are ready to get settled in their favorite chair and spend each Sunday afternoon in their underpants, watching hours upon hours of NFL games and highlights. It is also time for wives and girlfriends to meticulously plan and carry out sexual affairs, mostly with foreign men who have little or no interest in American football.
Sally lives in downtown Pittsburgh and her husband is a huge fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers. “He watches every game, every highlight, and every report. He doesnt miss anything, and that gives me time to have an affair with Simon, my British lover”, she told reporters.
Like Sally, a growing number of American women now look forward to the NFL season, instead of dreading it as they have in the past. “I used to get so angry during football season”, said Sally, “but now, its a great time for both of us. He gets to watch all of the games, and I get to have an affair”. Last year, Sally suggested to several of her girlfriends that they too, have an affair during the NFL season. From this, a new subculture was born.
“At first, I wasnt sure if I should”, said Sallys friend, Allison. A few weeks later, just after the pre-season, Allison found herself on a date with Simons friend, Ron. Days later, an affair began between the two. “Its nice” says Allison, “Ron doesnt care about football, I have my affair, then season is over and I can get back to my relationship with my husband. Everybody wins this way”.
Marriage experts frown on what is being called “gridiron affairs”, but acknowledge that in some cases, it can keep a relationship or a marriage together. “Some men really do care way too much about the