Who I Am Today Because of What Happen ThenEssay Preview: Who I Am Today Because of What Happen ThenReport this essayWho I am today because of what happen then“Sometimes life gives you two options: losing yourself or losing the one you love. Whatever it is, dont lose yourself.” In 2006, I lost one of the most important people in my life, my grandfather. I was 13 and lived thousands of miles away from him, but he was still my best friend. I called and wrote to him almost every day, or as much as I could. But when he passed, I felt like I never talked to him enough. He was the perfect person in my eyes. He always seemed to do the impossible and make everyone else life around him easier.
My grandpa was not only the best grandpa in the world, He was also a pilot. When I used to visit him, we would go for rides in his airplane and have picnics by the runways and watch airplanes take off. There was not one thing he couldnt do and everything he did had a purpose. He has been my hero since day one. He has inspired me to do things I would have never thought of. Every time I would get off the phone with him, He would tell me something inspiring. On February 21, 2006, was the last day I ever spoke to him. The worst day I have ever had. I remember that day like it was yesterday, riding my bike back home, waiting to call him and tell him about my day and have him help me with my math. Instead of going on with my original plans, I was the one that got a phone call. It was my grandpa calling form the hospital, to tell me that he was okay and that he is going to visit a place to make him better, where there are no worries. I didnt want to believe it. “He never did anything wrong” I said to myself with tears in my eyes. I never understood why God would take the one thing I loved the most away from me? After asking my grandpa to stay over and over again, he left me with the saying “Never let anyone or anything stand in the way of you and your dreams.”
Thats the last time I ever talked to him. From then on, there wasnt a day that went by when I didnt ask myself, “What could I have done to prevent this? How am I going to live knowing hes not here anymore? Will I be able to hold in all my emotions?” I had so many un-answered questions that no one knew the answers to. The next couple months were hard for me, I didnt want to be with my friends, I didnt want to play my sport games, I didnt want to eat and I couldnt sleep. I found the hardest times were the ones where I was alone with my thoughts. I had no one to go to anymore. Yes, I had my family, but that just didnt seem enough. He was my best friend. I started to be okay with the fact that he was in a better place. I wasnt okay with him not being there for me though, I still struggle with that. Instead of being sad and down all the time, I just thought of all the positive times we had together and all the things he taught me. Even though he wasnt right
⿈I knew that I could not only be loved, but I could give him everything that i had to give. He was my man, I always felt like I could give what i wanted – I was willing to spend time with him all the time. He isnt sad anymore. I knew that I wasn’t the same person. I am no longer the same person. He is my partner… he was just that, I am now. We made love, he became my god, & the world turned for us. He lost many of his memories from my childhood, ㎱ He is not the same person anymore but there is so much new to share with him. It was hard for me to handle all this, to see him, ㎲I feel so bad. It was scary, how could I expect that he is still here? Every day, he stays with me with his new, unfulfilled thoughts. His happiness, ㎳I dont feel a thing. I dont feel like he cares, I do not feel like he wants to feel anything at all. He cant really go anywhere anymore, if he has a girlfriend he can’t go to school, or school alone, or go to the gym…..but if he doesnt need that much, then I dont care. My heart aches and my hands aches.㎴I am afraid of getting into any kind of trouble for this one moment. I feel insecure and insecure, and I dont want to do that anymore but he knows that. I am afraid to be alone, and just like his words he cannt help but put his best smile on my face even though I will not return to him. He doesnt care about his parents or his friends, ㎵I feel this way of life is just for love and family… my friends can only be happy with who they are… They have to be in constant touch with me and know that i am still alive. I was able to find happiness for him but in our relationship he cant help but push this feeling away. His feelings aren’t good anymore!!! I don’t want to leave him, I am going to continue to be in this situation. He is safe at the moment, he can be home right now, I don’t even care that he needs to find his own place…..I am afraid that this will only make things worse. I am afraid to do anything other than play, or to share something with him… I need him. He is safe right now, I dont want to leave him out of this!!!I started to cry a bit on the phone, ㎶and it doesnt seem like he wants to get out anymore, but i will go back soon. I am scared of leaving with everything he has left… he’s been so good to me ever since the day I left him.. I dont want to leave him anymore, no matter what chance I get for him. I want to do this for him, ㎷When I said to him that i never wanted him back, I was completely honest & I told him thats wrong. He is so angry with me for not being able to do this, he doesn’t like me anymore, but i tell him to never ever ever take him back!! he dont want the happiness that i have promised him I feel so bad now, I’m scared for him. If this is my first time, i will have a hard time making any lasting peace with him. I will always love him if he has a love his own