The 5 People You Will Meet in Heaven
The 5 People U Meet In Heaven!
The five people u meet in heaven whats so interesting about that? Everyone knows that heaven is probably a place filled with laughter from the beautiful angels…. glitter from the gold pavements… and warmth from the shining white lights… or is when u r having that screaming orgasm (ha!)….
and the 5 people u meet in heaven are probably:
(1) God – Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Krishna, Guan Yin and co… they r all up there.. probably playing mahjong or something…
(2) your departed love ones – the grandpas, the grandmas, the uncles, the aunts, all your ancestors in their chinese vampire dresscode down to that poor little hamster u accidentally dropped in primary school…
(3) St Peters a.k.a. the jaga / security guard/ traffic police/customs of the Pearly Gates where he jaga the gate and check whether u have the pasport to heaven or whether your petrol is 3/4 full…
(4) Tears…. i know its corny…”tears in heaven”.. that eric clapton song… (for those who havent heard this song.. u muz be like only 18 or something and i have to say this to u…. GET OUT of the clubbing areas!!! u r making places like zouk a damn happening kindergarten… GET OUT!!!) and for those who are laughing …well dont! coz there are plenty of reasons for tears in heaven.. (a) u realised that u r well…dead! (b) u realised that u ACTUALLY can make it to heaven…..(hooray) (c) for believers – u realised that there is actually heaven and all that praying has not gone to waste when u see the mahjong ppl…(double hooray… all the “sucking up” prayers are worth it!!) (d) for non-believers – theres GOD?!!?! CRAP!!! (e) and well… u realised ya ancestors look ridiculously stupid in their vampire costumes… tears of laughters i must say…
Lastly (5)