Essay Preview: Hippies
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Hippie, spelled hippy in the United Kingdom, refers to a subgroup of the 1960s and early 1970s counterculture that began in the United States, becoming an established social group by 1965 before declining during the mid-1970s. Hippies were part of a youth movement composed mostly of white teenagers and young adults between the ages of 15 and 25 years old. Inheriting a tradition of cultural dissent from the bohemians and the beatniks, hippies rebelled against established institutions, criticized middle class values, opposed the Vietnam War, embraced aspects of non-Judeo-Christian religions, promoted sexual liberation, and created intentional communities, leading some to describe hippies as a new religious movement. By 1968, self-described hippies had become a significant minority, representing just under 0.2 percent of the U.S. population.
This is what they want you to think. In truth hippies are nothing more than diseased corpses possessed by the most deadly virus in the world, Marijuanaitistosis. Hippies are not invulnerable, like some believe but they are the largest threat to our world. There only weakness, knowledge. There greatest strength, ignorance. I am here to teach you how to survive a Hippie uprising. This speech will not make you a hippie-hunter, you must seek further training for that, but it will teach you to survive.
To first learn how to combat hippies we must learn how Marijuanaitistosis creates these monsters. M-itistosis is a virus that is found in the plant Cannabis, or marijuana. It is smoked for its psychological effects from THC, as harmful as that is, far more harmful is the deadly virus that is contained in the plant. I am not saying that smoking marijuana will always make you a hippy, but it give Marijuanaitistosis a chance, and thats all it needs.
When inhaled m-itistosis is taken into the blood stream where it changes the brain, and lungs, of the soon to be hippie. M-itistosis destroys the cerebral cortex, the higher thinking part of your brain, and mutates the basic reflexes of the body. Also it mutates the lungs so that instead of depending on oxygen, they now crave marijuana smoke. Somehow m-itistosis manages to require marijuana smoke only 3 times a week at the least, but if deprived of marijuana a hippy will die in a matter of weeks. Eliminating the bodies need for oxygen allows hippies to do things that normal people wouldnt be able to, like walk underwater, write bad songs to a Congo drum beat, and provide the super-human strength a hippie will use to overpower you. But back to the brain, it replaces a normal humans needs, food, rest, drink, and sleep with a hippies needs; marijuana, alcohol, sex, and human flesh. Why hippies eat human flesh we still have yet to determine, but in lab experiments we have found that 100% of the time a hippie will eat human flesh over other types of animals, vegetables, or fruits.
To often hippies are said to have super powers, this is not the case. A hippie is basically a human whose every move is controlled by a virus. They will not have any super powers unless the infected human did. Think of the human body as a tool being used in sometimes new and unconventional ways. Hippies have very poor eyesight from smoking too much, but there sense of smell is far more acute then that of a normal human. They have been known to smell marijuana from over a mile away. Hippies have almost no physical sensations. Almost all nerve receptors