Catch 22
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There was dead silence in his office, the kind of silence that should never be disturbed. The look of determination on his face was uncanny. Every single move he made was precise and delicate. Colonel Cathcart slowly rolled a few inches away from his desk in his chair, just enough so he could stand up. At a snails pace, he stood up never taking his eyes off his masterpiece. Cathcarts hand was shaking immensely as he lifted the playing card up to complete his beloved tower. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Cathcarts body jumped in surprise, causing his hand to jolt at the sound of the noise. The tower collapsed in seconds. All Cathcart had now was 51 cards scattered all over his desk, still gripping the final card in his hand.
“God damnit! Who the hell is it?!?” Cathcart roared while slamming his hands down on his desk.
“Oh dont get your panties in a bunch” Lieutenant Colonel Korn said as he opened the door and invited himself in. “Look, I got this letter, and its bad news” Lieutenant Colonel Korn stated looking at Cathcart blankly.
“Bad news? Bad news! Ill tell you what bad news is you ungrateful son of a bitch, bad news is when you spend all day, all day! In your office trying to make a precious tower out of cards! And then when you finally accomplish it, it gets torn down all because you decided to bitch and moan about a little piece of paper that says we got problems?!” Cathcart takes a moment to catch his breath as Colonel Korn looks at him with a dumbfounded look on his face. Cathcart snatched the letter out of Korns hand waving it back and forth.
“Say, how do you know its bad news anyway if you havent opened it huh?”
Korn shook out of his trance “Well it does say urgent in big red letters on the front, and we only get those letters when theres trouble” .
Cathcart looked at the envelope and paused for a brief moment, and then flung it onto his desk without a care in the world. He then focused his attention back to the mess of cards on his desk, gathering the playing cards quickly so he can try again.
“Arent you going to read the damn letter?” Korn said in impatience. Cathcart looked up at Colonel Korn with disgust on his face and replied “Arent you going to help me with my damn cards?!”.
“Forget about your stupid cards! Read the letter! Whoever sent it, put urgent on it for a reason!” Korn as getting so worked up and vein popped out in the middle of his forehead. Cathcart was startled at his anger and decided to open the letter. Cathcart unfolded the piece of paper “Its from Bush” Cathcart bobbed his head side to side pretending to glimpse over it.
“Well?!” Korn said anxiously.
Colonel Cathcart slammed the paper back down on his desk in irritation.
“I cant concentrate on the friggen letter, Im too ticked off about my damn cards!” Colonel Korn seized for the paper also in irritation.
“Bush says that there may be more terrorist attacks in the U.S.and to be on full alert for anything suspicious.” Korn then folded the letter and placed it underneath his arm. Cathcart looked up from his cards and said “Let the squadrons know a meeting will be held in the mess hall tonight to talk about the letter.” Colonel Korn nodded back and headed for the door.
Yossarian was coming out of the mess hall. On his way back to his tent , he ran into Colonel Korn. Yossarian acknowledged his presence but just kept walking.
“You there, whats your name?” Colonel Korn asked loud enough so Yossarian knew he was talking to him.
“Yossarian” he replied while taking a bite out of his apple that he had saved from his lunch.
“well, Yossarian, let your squadron know there is a meeting tonight in the mess hall”
“about what?” Yossarian asked back so quickly, almost cutting off Korn.
“Bush sent us a letter about more terrorist attacks in the U.S, Cathcart will discuss what he said in it and what we will do tonight, is that clear?”
“Has an attack happened yet?” Yossarian asked.
“No, I dont think so”
“Was it another suicide attack?”
“Once again, I dont know” Korn said with an irritated tone.
“well when will you know?”
“Tonight damnit! Now get out of my sight!” Colonel Korn stomped his foot and pointed to the direction of Yossarians tent.
“Ok sir, see ya tonight” Yossarian said calmly and walked off. Yossarian walked into his tent and was met by Orr, Dunbar, and Mudd. Orr was off in his corner tinkering with his little stove that he took apart, pieces were spread everywhere in neat organized piles. Dunbar was sitting down on a chair by Mudds bed with his legs comfortably stretched out so his feet could rest on Mudds bed. Yossarian walked up to Dunbar first and pushed his legs off of Mudds bed.
“what do you think youre doing? I dont think Mudd appreciates that very much”
Dunbar put the magazine down and stood up and turned to Mudd and said “Sorry buddy I didnt know you didnt like that.” Yossarian walked over to Orr and kicked his precise piles of parts from the stove.
“What the hell is this crap Orr?”
“its my collectables, not crap”
“Well whatever it is clean it up we got to go meet at the mess hall in fifteen minutes.”
“About what?” Orr looked up at him with a puzzled look on his face. “Bush sent a letter sayin something about terrorist attacks.” Yossarian put on his jacket quickly and hurried Orr and Dunbar out of the tent. When they got to the mess hall everyone was already there, Colonel Cathcart was pacing back and forth impatiently on a makeshift stage made out of a few of the tables put together. The rustling of everyone getting settled in their seats and having little side conversations filled the room.
“Everyone sit down and shut up!” Cathcart blurted out. The room became quiet, everyone anxious to hear about the “urgent”