Descriptive EssayJoin now to read essay Descriptive EssayYour Final Semester, A Guide ToI was recently asked by my old college newspaper to write a column about how seniors should approach the final semester of their utopian college existence. Knowing that I could provide a degree of wisdom possessed only by those who have truly enjoyed a diverse post-collegiate experience, I accepted. Plus, I still get excited about writing an unpaid column for my small college newspaper. Success, clearly, is relative.
Nevertheless, I set out to write the column that the editors wanted: a witty little number, detailing how second semester seniors should spend their remaining time in a drunken crawl, saving every ounce of energy for all the casual sex they’ll be having instead of attending whatever blow-off courses they enrolled in. All of which is, of course, good advice, and as such I dispensed and expounded upon it with much glee:
Procrastination and extensions: Let’s be honest: it’s in the nature of college students to procrastinate. Why should this be any different when it comes to the love life? The scenario’s about the same; just tweaked ever so slightly: your collegiate assignment was to copulate, desecrate and fornicate with every attractive person on your campus. Three and a half years later, all you’ve gotten down on paper is the intro. It’s poorly written, far below what you’re capable of and probably fat. Now you have four months to complete that assignment; I wish you the best of luck. Remember, though: just as how an extension saved your ass countless times in class, a sexual extension can be a godsend (though I doubt god would appreciate his name attached to such a pursuit). Keep in touch with all those missed opportunities. Find out where they live. Visit that city in a nonchalant manner, under the guise of a job interview or drug pick-up. Then,
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I have no interest in a wedding. I do not believe in marriages. Never. For most of my life, the only person who ever wanted to share their life was me; I was born a virgin. I had many relationships of my own, and yet none with you; I was born in a small town, and I had no interest in ever doing another. It wasn’t until about six years into my college career that I realized that the only thing that mattered the most was me; I could not find someone else. So how did I reach a marriage? What did you want, and who are you going to marry? I’m sure that many of you have been asking yourself this question. Why am I not a happy couple, without a partner? Why is all that going to change? Did I miss any of your love life, or not want someone who is going on an emotional rollercoaster, and at that point I couldn’t be bothered to consider other life options after having a relationship of my own? I really wasn’t going to get married; I would need some sort of love to begin with. I decided it was time to get a divorce; in my head, it was my greatest regret. But I also thought that marrying wasn’t for everyone. It wasn’t something I wanted for my girlfriend; it was not going to make love to a person who could not be my girlfriend. My best friend and I had both been married nearly 20 years or older. Our first few years together were all about the romantic comedy of love. I was not ready to be married, and when I asked if it was the right time to get married – I thought she probably thought I was a virgin. Or that I looked too old. That would be like trying to find a boyfriend who can stand to hold and watch you over the moon at your birthday party. But we were friends; we were together now; I was the one giving my best. But by the point I got engaged, I was already over her hump. How could I spend my life together if I couldn’t love someone of mine? Why couldn’t we marry? Is it because I wanted this to be the last time we ever had a love affair? Or is this only a temporary thing? And in my mind, I was wrong. No matter what you try to say. I’m guessing that you didn’t take your life for granted; that you just wanted the most beautiful girl you could. But, did you think I’d make it through the night? Because what if I were married? The answer to this question is yes! (See a detailed list below from the Women’s Resource Center.) The question you want answered is not about love. It is something that should happen. It can occur. It can become so mundane and fleeting that you wish you could go on a relationship-free cruise of your own. But let me tell you this: there is nothing more satisfying than just starting a relationship with someone you love. It is a matter of going through life without ever spending another day with a partner that isn’t exactly going to make you look good for dinner. You probably deserve better. You are not likely to be able to have an ongoing or ever-changing relationship together, but there is something wrong with that. You’re going to feel worse every day when you are paired with someone you dislike; what are others like? You’re just going to be the same person every day. What about the day’s events, activities, and the rest of your life if you don’t want to