Hackman (fictional Story)
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Nights are so dumb.
They are silent, serene, dark and slow. Perfect for truth which prowls naked all the time.
With all the realisations and guilt flowing in, it became impossible for me to sleep. Finally, four pills and three hours later, my two eyes closed dozing me off at 1:00AM.
The violent door knocks snapped me back to life.
“What is it, mom?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.
She just kept pointing to the other room.
“Its your dad”, she said,with a face pale as my pills.
I looked inside the room. There wasn’t anyone there, except for the flowing white curtains and the creaking fan.
“Mom, no one’s there. Dad’s dead and will most likely stay dead. Just get some sleep.”
She just kept pointing towards the curtains.
I shut the windows and put her back to sleep, really annoyed.
I was able to go back to sleep without any effort. Weird.
The alarm buzz woke me up at 6:00AM. As surprising as it was that I woke up at the first ring, it was more surprising that she texted me five “Der?”s in five hours. My heart sprang back to life and I dialled her.
I always loved it when she says that.
“Hi! Is everything okay?” I asked, trying not to sound too excited.
“Of course Nik. Actually, I need to talk. Are you free now?”
Anything for you, baby. Anything for you and your forgiveness.
“Yes. What’s up?”
“I want to meet you. In person. Hackman Cliff, 5PM?”
I couldn’t believe my ears.
“Sure, Mia. Should I pick you up?”
“No worries, I’ll get a cab. Just be there sharp. Bye.”
As much I hated it when she didn’t wait for my “bye”, I couldn’t help wondering, why Hackman Cliff? Sure, it was an important place in our lives, but all the decisions we made there backfired, opening the hell’s gates for each of us. Except for the first time when I’ve proposed her, it never seemed the right place for anything to me. Me mistaking her possessiveness for supression, she contemplating my silence to break-ups, me misunderstanding her friendship with Aiden, she defending herself by bringing up Shruti, Hackman Cliff was the only constant in all of it.
But last night, I realised it was all on me. My desires, my ambitions, my love, my protectiveness, it was all me that broke her. Feeling proud of her that she didn’t give up yet, I decided to apologise her to her heart’s content. Hackman Cliff, bear witness to this too, for its gonna be the moment we tell our kids about.
I stood at the border of the unmanned edge of the cliff, staring into void, waiting for a “Heya”.
It wasn’t too late till I heard those words.
I thought, maybe don’t hug too soon , but she reached out. Just like she always knew what ran on my mind.
“Heya Nik. Thanks for coming.”
I replied with a smile, fighting back tears before they could reach my eyes.
“Long time. How are you?”
“Haha fine. Haha. How are you, Mia?”
She never used to grin. She smiled and fake smiled but never grinned. Guess people change a lot faster than I thought.
“I am good.Actually, I was thinking about you last night. What about you? Ever think of me?” she asked, lolling out her tongue.
That was it.
“Mia, I am fine. I really am fine. It’s just that Batman doesn’t seem interesting anymore. Pizzas taste really bad. Time seems to have gone into its own accord. I realised our ceilings have a really bad paint. Also, every apple at the market seems rotten these days. Weird, isn’t it?”
I let go. I let the tears stream my cheeks as she watched in silence, with that new and irritating grin.
“I know all these have nothing to do with you. But trust me, you make Batman interesting, pizzas tasty, apples ripe, even the ceiling seems beautiful with you. But time is way more uncontrollable with you, which I would happily trade for the pleasure of your hugs. Please..”
Come on, Nik. Do it.
“…forgive me for all the hurt I’ve caused you. For all the pain I’ve given you.