In Defence of Me
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In Defence of Me
On early mornings, just like this one (I awoke for six a.m.) I am not feeling any particular warm feelings for others. I dont have to- its my business whether or not I like you- and I dont believe that I have to act happy for you. Im told to always wear a smile, be joyous you have nothing to be angry about Lauren no one likes your poor attitude. Its just how I am at ridiculously early hours in the morning, Im being me.
Perhaps this is just a selfish rant to spew my grievances and anger on the world today. But I find that I dont really care for your opinion, or anyones for that matter, regarding my somewhat ridiculous attitude. It is an early morning, I dont sleep, and there was no coffee. Please dont bother me. Thats just the way that I am. I refuse to apologize for not having a smile on my face every damn day. Im not sorry that I dont watch The Bachelor, or that I dont favour Hondas. I hate the colour beige for wall paint and I think all the clothing items that have “cutie” or such displayed on the chest or behind should be gathered and burnt. Id rather watch South Park in a room with fluorescent green walls. Im tired of being scrutinized and criticized for being me, making me feel like Im unacceptable as a person. Its wrong to do that to any individual. People should not be judged and made to feel like they are inferior or wrong for being different.
But people have their arguments also, “Its not you Lauren, its your attitude. I dont appreciate you calling me a up-tight prude just because youre cranky.” Is my attitude not me? Sure it may not be the best attitude to have, but whos to say their attitude is supreme? I guess theyre saying that I do not have a right to be grumpy in the morning-time. I get enough ridicule to think that maybe, this I-hate-the-world-attitude-before-eight-a.m. isnt me at all. I should change. If I am bothering enough people, maybe I dont have a right.
People will always have their opinions about my morning time ranting. Once I think that perhaps I should change, I have an epiphany and shake my head a little. If I am going to change, it should be for me, not for anyone else. Besides, most of the people who voice their opinions about me, to me, all posses a “holier than thou” persona. I begin to think, do I really want to change myself for this person? I dont even like you. Perhaps they will think that I will see the errors of my ways. That Ill cut out the sarcasm, take a ride in a Honda, and watch a rewarding hour of reality T.V. Theyre theory, I suppose, is that if they tell me enough times what exactly is wrong with me and what I should change, then logically, I will jump immediately to accomplish what they so firmly suggested. Ridicule has always been the best medicine, hasnt it?
Why do the judgmental people always feel that it is their duty to change those who are insufficient and lacking in their eyes? Perhaps they feel it is their god-given right to make everyone like