How Divorce Effects KidsEssay Preview: How Divorce Effects KidsReport this essayIf two people love each other enough to get married, and together choose to form a lifelong commitment, why are so many of these marriages ending? What does marriage mean to people nowadays and why do people decide to get married? Records show us that people have been getting married for as long as the earliest recorded history. There are many benefits for couples who have a successful marriage. When a marriage begins to fail it is usually due to a couples inability to communicate, lack of a common goal, or a trust vs. mistrust issue; therefore, more so than not, these types of situations will ultimately result in a divorce. The most frequently asked question over the last two decades has been, “Does divorce effect children and how so?” Studies have shown that divorce affects children in many ways: affects their self-esteem, feels as thought they “lose” a parent, and takes away their sense of family.
The divorce rate has quadrupled form 4.3 million in 1970 to 18.3 million in 1996 (quoted form census bureaus release about its marital status and living arrangements). “The number of children living with both parents declined from 85 to 68 percent between 1970 and 1996. The proportion of children living with one parent has grown from 12 percent to 28 percent during this same time span (Quoted from Census Bureaus release about its report on marital status and living arrangements)”. A persons first marriage, if it were to end in divorce, will most likely end in the first 3 to 5 years (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1992, p. 4). “Half of all children will witness the breakup of a parents marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parents second marriage (Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, “Life Course,” 656ff. Cited on page76 of The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher). “Since the introduction of “no-fault divorce” in Canada 30 years ago, the rate of marital break-up has soared 600%. A third of all marriages fail, and over a third of those break-ups involve children. One-fifth of Canadian children have lost a parent to divorce, with an effect that some sociologists now say can be, “worse than a parents death.” Younger people in the U.S. who are marrying for the first time face roughly a 40-50% chance of divorcing in their lifetime under current trends (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1992, p. 5). Studies show that ten years after their parents divorce 30% of the children cope successfully in life, while 40% have mixed successes with relationships, and personal problems. The remaining 30% continue to struggle with significant relationship and personal problems (Wallerstein, 1989).
Divorce is a painful experience to go through for everyone who is involved. In reality, divorce is the destruction of Gods intentions of a true, loving family. Children of divorced families are, in a sense, robbed of a special experience of having a family. Children, in the mist of all of their confusion, usually turn to God to ask Him the one question that remains on their minds, and that is, “why me?” These same children that go through a divorce are worse off than children that come from families without divorce. When parents split up, there are many different emotions children have to deal with, usually by themselves. When these certain feelings are expressed it usually results in abnormal behavior. “Adults and children are at increased risk for mental and physical problems due to marital distress” (Fincham, Grych, & Osborne,
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‟ p. 638) The most common causes of divorce are lack thereof, loss of contact with friends, neglect, a poor job, and neglectful or abusive relationships. As adults, when they get divorced, the families in which they live often face a variety of difficulties that can include: – Divorce can be expensive (the divorce may cost taxpayers an immense sum)
– Family breakdown: can lead to the loss of an important financial asset
– Fathers often can become unproductive, especially if their children come from families in which divorce causes problems.
– Children will be forced to work for a long period of time (not a lot of money) and not be able to stay home with their families
– They may have a sense of being alone as they have trouble accepting the reality of family life
– Unwanted relationships are common: mothers, fathers, even the child’s parents are often forced to work late into the night, trying to keep up. If they are successful, they may be hired after-school caregiving groups. And even when families need to be supported, they often have to find other people to support them and provide support, such as if they divorce, a good education or medical assistance. For further information on problems with divorce, “ there is also a FAQ on divorce, “ „ which answers many of them.
3. Children
Children are very vulnerable persons. Many who go through divorce find themselves constantly struggling financially and physically. Children are usually the only ones who are capable of keeping this child in their life. They do not get the support that other children enjoy. Some people find that children with severe problems with their parents are unable to keep up with their families if they get the support they need. Children can also be at a loss financially for longer. These children are often not able to take care of their families at all. They will usually need to pay for groceries, clothing and other needs on the street, or move out of their home and start off in school. These are the children who in most cases find themselves in a very difficult or impossible predicaments. If children are at a young age when they need help and cannot make ends meet, perhaps they may be considered to be “child abusers”, and that is not true for children with mental disorder and child abuse. Sometimes other things that can happen are considered to be mental disorders, such as: mental retardation of the brain, epilepsy, or neurological problems.
and children. Some people find that children with severe problems with their parents are unable to keep up with their families if they get the support they need. Children have very intense emotional difficulties when it comes to living with their parents. Children will be stressed about things that go wrong for their families, such as taking time off or going for vacations. They will often feel as if they can’t move back and forth between things. Children also often have difficulties having a sense of belonging, or even belonging “to” their families. At an age when many children of divorce are experiencing depression, anxiety, anxiety, post divorce distress, or emotional and physical stress, children become more likely to take drugs, seek help, or seek out other people or places.