What Do I Miss?
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Its early Sunday evening and I can smell the roast beef in the oven, the delightful aroma is just one thing that reminds me of Ðblighty. To be fair to this lovely Island, there are not too many things that I really do miss. I could list a few fantastic retail outlets but by and large my husband and I are pretty settled here and do not have cravings to return to the land of our birth, much preferring the land of ourÐre-birth. That is until this weekend!…….
Only a couple of weeks ago we had the pleasure (???) of our 19 and 11month old daughter staying with us. We had earlier on in the year purchased her a ticket for the ÐV concert this weekend. (For the uninitiated the ÐV is for Virgin). One morning, we were greeted with ÐGod Mum, I really must talk to you, something is really worrying me. ÐThank you God! an earth shattering, thought provoking discussion awaits, anything to abate the taste of another regurgitated, transparently plagiarised article on the ÐProprieties of Olive Oil (Wasnt she Popeyes other half???) whilst waiting for the kettle to boilÐ….. Initial thoughts ranged from, Ðoh God, please dont let that small pimple on her face have turned into Vesuvius overnight, to, she needs comforting over her row with the Ðmust have accessory for her ageÐ…Ð… the boyfriend. Hell no, much worse than thatÐ…Ð….. Its Ðhow am I going to cope at ÐV??
ÐWHAT??? cope with what??? Having a fantastic time, camping out with the Ðmust have accessory? seeing the line up that I would kill for??? Becoming, as my beloved calls Ðone of the great unwashed? Honey you havent lived.
ÐWell, to start withÐ…Ð…Ð…Ð…Ð….., (What do you mean to start with????) I dont know what to take to wear. How can I make my kick-start 6 cups of Earl Gray before I cease growling and take on a near human form? Where will I keep my contact lenses? How many loo rolls will I need? And, How the hell and I going to put my makeup on in the morning without the Ðmust have accessory seeing my face stark bollock naked??? And I thought I had taught her well in the practice of the 3 way thong???
How appropriate that her first major concert should be ÐV!!! Now I was transported back in time, reminiscing about all the fantastic concerts I had been to pre and aprДÐs uni days and God, how I wished I was going to ÐV. In fact, how I wished that I was going to any really good, ear splitting, adrenaline pumping, get up and dance CONCERTÐ…Ð…Ð….. Yes, I know we have just been blessed (?) with Diana Ross, and even better, Bonnie Tyler, but could someone please ring U2, Scissor Sisters, Coldplay, Chemical Bros, and tell them that there is this Island, that has recently joined the EU and would kiss their asses if only they would bless us with their music in live CONCERT form?????
So, back to the kitchen table, and the plethora of sound advice bestowed on the virgin camper and concert goer!!
Firstly,