Gale Encyclopedia
Gale Encyclopedia
Many mothers and fathers think that after birth, alcoholism no longer has an effect on their child’s life. It may be true that abstaining from the use of alcohol during the pregnancy will prevent the child from birth defects and physical harm before the birth. However, many alcoholic parents neglect to consider is that their abuse or dependency on alcohol can disrupt their children after delivery. Eiden, Edwards and Leonard (2004) report that there is an increase in the “likelihood of early behavior problems among these children leading to antisocial behavior, which in turn is associated with greater substance use problems” (p. 309). The negative impact that alcoholic parents have on the development and lifestyles of their children does not cease after the birth of the child, but continues to grow as the child does.
Gale Encyclopedia (1996) defines an alcoholic as “a person whose drinking impairs his or her life adjustment, affecting health, personal relationships” (p. 6). Children of alcoholics, more than likely, will have difficulty developing a healthy lifestyle. According to Berger, a former teacher of special education (1993), a healthy development “requires mastering emotional and social tasks at various ages throughout their childhood” (p. 53). In order to do this, experts say they must learn how “to share, to interact, to engage in problem-solving and to separate from parents”(p. 54). Most of these children become deprived of experiences that expose them to these characteristics and thus preventing them from developing in healthy ways. They also need of “parental warmth and support” and, as Eiden (2004) states, “parental alcoholism interferes with being consistently warm and supportive during parent-child interactions” (p. 310). This affects social, educational, emotional and characteristic aspects of children’s lives.
Children of alcoholics rarely have close and stable friendships. They have a difficult time engaging in social situations. Torr (2000) points out that these children have extreme difficulty maintaining close relationships because the child has been let down so many times before by their parent and have often learned not to trust others (p. 30). They are afraid of being disappointed again and choose to shy away from close relationships to prevent this from occurring. Children will also sustain from making friends because they are ashamed of their dysfunctional family. According to Berger (1993), “children may avoid making close friends and bringing people home, in order to keep the alcoholic and the problems caused by the alcoholic from being exposed” (p. 52). To these children, home is not a safe haven, it is more of a “hostile environment” (p. 52). Family members argue and yell and the house is often messy. The children are embarrassed at their living situation and do not feel comfortable bringing people over and revealing their family problems.
These children do not just simply grow out of their social and emotional problems, but instead tend to take them a step further. As these children become teenagers, they still resort to masking their family and personal chaos from anyone on the outside (Berger, 1993, p. 58). Berger (1993) reports that “repeated delays and disappointments, broken promises and outright lies often lead to problems in trusting others or developing close relationships” (p. 58). Even after these teenagers have realized their dilemma, they are often too afraid to ask for help. They feel as though they are inviting an “outsider” in who may “reveal the carefully hidden problem of alcoholism at home” (p. 59).
This unhealthy development carries over into the educational area of these children’s lives as well. Rejecting friendships occurs at school as well as at home. Many children view school as the one area in their lives that they can control and, in some cases, become “overachievers,” yet at the same time they will remain isolated from others (Torr, 2000, p. 31). While some tend to shy away from social situations and focus more on schoolwork, others feel the need to grab the attention they lack from home. They often participate in activities such as lying, stealing, fighting, truancy and school behavioral problems (Berger, 1993, p. 56). Berger (1993) states that they do this “to cover up their real feelings…pretend they don’t care” (p. 56). Many of these children do inadequately in school, in comparison to children with nonalcoholic parents. They tend to have difficulty in passing classes and graduating from high school. Research suggests that this may be a result of the parents’ underestimation of their child’s ability. This