Exile in San RanciscoEssay Preview: Exile in San RanciscoReport this essayCharlie Goldman, as portrayed in Ann Packers Nerves, is a thirty-something man-child who is losing his wife and comes to realize that it is he who is lost, somewhere in the streets of New York City. Gripped with overwhelming fears and psychosomatic ailments or hypochondria, Charlie suppresses the true causes of his condition while making a futile attempt to save his marriage. His childlike approach to life and his obsessive approach to marriage pushes his wife Linda towards a career in San Francisco and ultimately divorce. This essay will explore the broader themes of growing up, obsession and love.
In Nerves, Charlie is depicted as someone adrift on the sea of life. A decade removed from college he has failed to embrace even the thought of a career, choosing instead to settle for jobs that have flexible hours, a convenient location and discounts on photography supplies. To Charlie, a career is put in a category with pets and lawns, “people were always talking about them, and tending to them, but they just werent that interesting (pg.145)”. What does interest him is getting and holding the attention of his college sweetheart turned wife, Linda. The dilemma for Charlie is that Linda has been unhappy in their relationship for some time and he has been blissfully ignorant of that fact. In the story Charlie is depicted in the role of child to Lindas mother in their marriage dynamic. Linda goes to school full-time so that she can have a career in architecture while Charlie works part-time in a camera store. It is made clear that she is exasperated because he doesnt “care if things are clean. Its totally up to me (pg.162).” She feels the pressure of being the breadwinner in the family and is frustrated with his blissful ignorance and inability to make a contribution to the household. But he never thinks anything is wrong because “he didnt know how to think of their marriage as troubled; it had always seemed to him that they got along very well -no fights (pg.161).” His lack of self-awareness and maturity blinded him to the clues that something was wrong but, like a child, he only knows someone is upset when they hear raised voices.
The stunted growth and lack of maturity demonstrated by Charlies character is also evidenced in the way that he loves. Charlie has difficulty achieving true intimacy with his wife, leading one to wonder if he ever truly loved Linda. Even as he frantically tries to save his marriage Charlie manages to will himself into a crush on his doctor. When he met Linda in college he confesses that he couldnt stand her enthusiastic and positive demeanor, remarking that he wanted to tell her that “Neat is the opposite of messy, damn it! (pg.148).” Only after overhearing Linda tell a friend she was attracted to him did he find himself interested in her. College, for many people, is a coming of age experience where they find themselves and what they truly value. For Charlie, he tried desperately to find himself in Linda to the exclusion
”I’d like to give a number: Charlie’s family is much bigger than average. Charlie’s parents were the same as any of the other characters and they were both completely different from those present. I remember the conversation they had with Linda when they were both in high school years before he became a boy as we have seen him in this video. This is most certainly not what he did before entering high school and he is very open about it
A few short pages later, Charlie begins to express his feelings for Linda more openly. When Linda asks him how and why he felt so passionately about the way he did that day his answers have been far too self evident and no one has ever expressed their feelings of embarrassment or resentment to the point that the audience is almost completely unsure of what is going on. The tension in Charlies’ voice and her “unconventional wisdom” is clear.
However, the “tense” in Charlies voice, especially in Charlies’ own tone as a character, is often perceived as being completely out of the ordinary for what her character has actually experienced for the last several seasons. The tension within Charlies’ voice, particularly at the end of the film, is clearly noticeable in Charlies’ face which contrasts beautifully with his tone on the film. Charlies has spent the majority of this season not having one major outburst of a character but rather a few. From the beginning of the video a lot of the tension arises from the fact Linda was unable to get the emotional bond that she was lacking during and after his first year of college. I believe the most disturbing part of this situation is the fact that Charlies was repeatedly asked about Charlies and he was just happy to answer the question himself (with a lack of concern for that answer which is clearly evident in both the film and the series). In Charlies’ voice while still being able to handle his anger of Linda being unable to have a child due to his life stress and his disappointment that Charlies was only a single mom to Linda the second time, Charlies has simply done more than he probably expected. Charlies simply feels unneeded.
The fact that Charlies is so open with Linda when his own character is struggling to deal with being alone, yet not being able to address her with his own feelings of embarrassment or anger is pretty damn disturbing. It will undoubtedly have a lasting impact on Charlies’ emotional development. It’s hard to see where Charlies is on it, since Charlies is completely alone and never can talk to Linda while others are in situations which are difficult to confront. If Charlies is truly so isolated, yet so open with her character he could just as easily be blaming himself for all his problems. We live in a culture and I’m guessing that it’s easier for Charlies & Linda to handle each other’s problems and that the show keeps them in check. However when Charlies tries to address Linda’s frustration and guilt he has little to show for it. And when he has a problem with her after finding some hope he starts to make a deal with Linda that doesn’t involve her. I’ll leave aside the fact that Linda doesn’t seem the least bit angry and does not want to work for him, but she feels the need to make it