Homosexuality in My Country Nigeria and America
When someone is attached to an individual of the same sex we say the person is gay or a lesbian generally called homosexuals. A homosexual is when a man loves his fellow man or when a woman loves her fellow woman. Some can love a man and a woman at the same time, they are called bisexual. Being a homosexual is not an easy task in the society we are in now even when it is legalized. They have their limitations as humans. There are some difficulties they face in other to please themselves. Caeia Marchs A Limited Wedge of shy is a story talking about the limitations a lesbian had to face when she had a husband and children before turning into a woman lover.
They even go as far as leaving their loved ones and their past to start up a new relationship. Some of these homosexuals are not born into it, while some are. For instance if a woman and her fellow woman are together as a couple, one is likely to be the husband and the other the wife. The definitely need a child or children to call their own, so they might both decide to use the modern means of getting a child or just adopt. We can say that that child will be grown in the home of homosexuals but that does not mean the child will end up becoming a homosexual.
Caeia Marchs A Limited Wedge of shy is one of the essays that explains my topic. It talks about the life style of a married woman who suddenly found out that she no longer had feelings for her husband but for her fellow woman. It discusses the limitations she had to face just for her to be with her lover. It show us the different ways a lesbian is treated by the people she once loved, the society and her new found lover. In this story her husband is seen as the society who reacts negatively to the act of lesbianism. Her husband who represents the society today didnt want to believe that she was a lesbian, rather he wanted her to be at least a bisexual. “Perhaps youre really bisexual,” he had hoped.” (March 38). He wasnt aggressive or repulsive to her but he could not believe the fact that she was now a lesbian and was going to live with her lesbian lover. They do not say or do anything about it. They just treat them as people that do not exist. David tried in his own way to convince her from leaving him. He used his children, house and what the both have shared together but it seemed as if it had no heading.
“Im never leaving them, said David. “Or this house. I dont want you to leave either. Itll probably turn out all right, if we just wait. We should take it more slowly, love.” (38).
This is a fine example of some family members today. They tend to use what they have to get what they want. In families like Davids own the spouse of the recently turned homosexual use his or her child to make him or her stay. They threatened not to leave the house so the other will stay if they have had no accommodation outside. He or she uses the children as a weapon to make him stay. When that is not working he reminds him of special time they had spent together and tried to convince him to give himself more time to think about it over. The baked beans can be said to symbolize the special family time the spent together. This can also be called persuasion. This essay showed that some spouse are smart enough not to let the other get to the point of persuading them to stay or change their mind.
“I left before David and I reached that particular boundary, and I never eat baked beans these days.” (38).
Her children are taking the place of the few people in the society that accept lesbians. They are those people that are able to accept their loved ones for who they are. This was what March was trying to tell us in the essay. She showed us that even though their mother was no longer with their dad but with a fellow woman they could still adapt to love her and her new lover. She went as far as telling us the kids loved spending time with her partner in place of her husband. The many women in the essay represented the people in the society that are neither taking the place of her husband or children. These people are those who are in the position to stone a homosexual to death, make him or her uncomfortable and make him always run away from the society. “I wonder how many women who find out, will choose to understand (37).
A Limited Wedge of Sky show us that once someone turns into a homosexual he or she finds it hard to sleep with his former partner. He doesnt have the urge for any sexual contact with his former partner. And we all know that this rejection can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. This also is one of the reason why one of the partner has to leave the house. He or she is never happy with old partner till they are officially separated. This unhappiness is usually noticed by their loved ones and friends. Just as Roger noticed his moms recent laughter and was able to comment on it. “You laugh too, these days, dont you Mum,” whispered Roger (39).
Sometimes your new lover doesnt love your former family. It is well known that he will want to keep you all for himself alone. But he also know that it is not possible to just clean up your first family like that so he or she pretends to accept them. Just as March portrayed Vietra. Vietra never liked the kids but had to accept them and joke around with them so as to make her lover happy. Vietra, who is kind to them for my sake was cooking sausages, bubble and squeak. (42). Loving someone and not being with the person you love sometimes can lead to emotional trauma. One could get emotionally sick. But sometimes we hide the cause of the sickness due ti the shame it will cause you.
Coming to my country Nigeria one could tell without being told that she is above 100% against homosexuality. It is considered a big crime in my country to be a guy or lesbian. There has been some issues concerning the same sex loving each other. A bill has even been passed in Nigeria that said that anyone caught in the act of homosexuality will have to face 14 years in prison. …would make the sheer act of being gay punishable by up to 14 years in prison. (Connor 1). Even though the president hasnt signed the bill it looks like the bill is not even needed for the gay group to be punished in the society.
In this article Connor used the life of Adeola as an example of how gays live in my country. Connor describes Adeolas lifestyle of be a secret because of what people will do to you if the notice you are gay. He says that a gay is seen as being abnormal. In Nigeria where there are different religion and tribes being gay and being caught has its different way of treatment. In the northern part of the country where most people there are Muslims, a gay tend to face more hardened punishment compared to when you are legally caught and made to face the bill to be passed.
“the bill coupled with legal restrictions on gay marriage, is actually lenient compared with the situation faced by gay Muslim dominated north of the nation, where Shariah Islamic law makes homosexuality a capital offence punishable in some areas by stoning to death. ”
The Muslims have a Shariah, Islamic law that says that gays are meant to be stoned to death. Due to this type of law it is kind of difficult to find your fellow gay in the society. Adeola who is an example in this article uses the tactic he called “words of mouth” where you get to interact with your fellow gay by introduction from one person to another.
Just as it is expected a newly turned gay person tend to lose most of his friends. Some of them no longer associated with them because of their newly found personality some are scared of being found to be associated with the gay people just as Adeolas friend, Kingsley was witness to anti-gay discrimination against his friends but could not do anything about it. And he also had to use the name Kingsley so people would not know he associates with gay people. This so-called friends of theirs make fun of them and call them names. …. Say things like ‘this guys homo. Stuff like that, ‘faggot.(2).
Some people believe that there has to be a reason for someone to become gay. They believed that no one is born a gay. Azu who is another individual talking in this article believed that no one is born gay, but that everyone is attracted to the opposite sex at least if not now, when they were growing up. Azu also said that she herself would prefer a female