Essay About Broken Promises And Holy Spirit

Being Honest with Myself
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A letter to you
-When I met you 11 years agoyou were a beautiful young lady who was sweet and kind
-We be became friends and at the time I didnt realize it yet, but you were a truly a great find.
-The more we hung out the closer we became, realizing that you and I shared a similar past.
-We dealt with the struggles of relationships and insecurities, all while growing up way to fast.
-We dealt with broken promises, lack of trust, and continual voids that left us with a lot of pain.
-Through this time we promised to be there for one another forever, no matter the strain.
-We were each others companions, amigos, friends; we were not each others enemy.
-We had our differences, that was no doubt, but we were friends & always continued to be.
-Similar pasts are what bonded us; however we went our separate ways & began to grow apart.
-Thats when confusion, insecurities, & turmoil poured into my life and & I had pain in my heart.
-My insecurities allowed me to be hurt, & instead of telling you what I needed, I became angry.
-This anger was so powerful, that I became a slave to resentment & I struggled to be free.
-I am so blinded by my own pain, hurt, & rage that I couldnt see that maybe you were hurt as well.
-Not be able to deal with my pain, I chose to throw my anger back on you, hoping that I would prevail.
-I call you selfish, this word I readily use, because I need you to be there & help me through my pain.
-However the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I expect from you, but I dont treat you the same.
-It was revealed that you feel so guilty that you allow me to treat you this way, and weigh you down.
-That I am squeezing what little hope and faith you have left, & causing you to continue to frown.
-It was revealed that at this time you need light in your life, as your light is flickering and in need.
-How can you want to hang around me when continue to bring darkness into your life & plant no seed.
-My anger and bitterness is choking you, and if I can be honest with myself it is also choking me.
-If I dont get this under control and pray for God to heal me, I will never be able to be free.
-I tell you I love you & I tell you I care, but I dont know what it means to love, as I am far from happy.
-Until I learn to give it to God I can never be the light that you need, so I am going to strive to be free.
-Im so sorry! Please forgive me as I was blind before today, & I did not see the pain I was causing you.
-I cant promise Ill get it right all the time, but I will work on it if you give me another chance or two.
-With that being said, God is working on me so that I can genuinely tell you that I LOVE YOU! 