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A long long time ago, about when the dinosaurs were alive, there was a big fat ugly round red bird that flew furiously into a wall, and turned into a dumber super retard. The bird plummeted from the sky, like boulders sink in the big blue beautiful sea. It rolled furiously down a rocky bumpy rough jagged mountain and fell shamelessly into a big pitch black hole in the dusty floor. It lay there lifeless, motionless. A big, angry, annoying, desperate t-rex came waddling along and found the sorry bird lying there, all alone in a big pitch black hole in the dirty floor. The big, desperate t-rex decided to take advantage of this time, and boldly raped it. When the bird awoke from its long slumber, it forgot it could fly, and climbed into a tree and laid some eggs. Then it fell from the big long endless tall tree. The gods in the heavens on their big heavenly, luscious, firm, round, beautiful, duel, milk like clouds, saw this, and started to laugh so hard until one of them fell off. When the gods face hit the earth, the impact was so hard that it killed all the dinosaurs on earth.

Millions of years later, there was a bum in the streets of chopstick town, which is right beside fork town. This bum was very young he was abandoned at the age of five. He is now 15. His dream was to get filthy, stinking, rich so he could laugh and mock at all the people who left him to die. This young boy was all bones, and had long brown hair. He had heard of a gold rush in a near by area, and took advantage of this and stole a shovel, so he could dig up some gold. So heres where his life really beginsÐ

The boy had a name once, but he couldnt remember it. Well anyways, once he stole him self a good shovel, he set off to dig his hole that was to bring him great riches. He arrived at an empty wasteland, it was like a desert. All you could see was flat land for miles. But he was determined to get rich, so he put his shovel into the floor, and started digging. He dug day and night in the scorching heat. He was very determined; he wasted 10 years of his life digging that hole. It was really big hole. A REALLY, REALLY big hole! He surprised him self how big it was. He decided to name it the Grand Cannon. All that digging did pay off. HE found 2 eggs there in a crusty only burnt down tree in this hole in the floor. He decided to eat them but he didnt have anything to cook it with. So he decided to sit on them still they were warm enough. After a while he found something poking at his ass, to his surprise he created not food but life. It was a chicken and a rooster that came out. This was a new animal; he thought is he offered this to the gods, this new species they would reward him with riches! So he set off to find the gods. He put the chicken and rooster in a bag for easy carrying. He needed to bring the new animals to a forgotten town in the middle of nowhere, and beg for the gods to come down and talk with them. He journeyed for many days, walking on the dust road, carrying the chicken and rooster in his bag. It seemed to get heavier every hour, but it might be him just getting tired. There was a constant bumping in the bag, so he kicked it till it stopped. He visited many towns, and it soon led him to a river called Styx. They need to cross the river to go to Egypt. He boarded a HUGE GIANT, ENOURMAS ship, and nick named “The unsinkable ship”, the titanic. When he opens his bag to let his chickens roam around. There were more than 2 that came out. The was more then 3, heck there were more than enough to fill the boat, but they were stuck in the under part of the ship. Where the engine room was and stuff. He bribed the captain of the ship to let him on. He gave him 5 chickens, as an offer.

Only a few days had passed and the number of chickens on board increased dramatically! They multiplied extremely fast. In the middle of the night, the bum heard a tapping noise out in the hall. He thought it was mores code, and some one was trying to communicate with him. SO he knocked back. After a while he got bored and decided to go talk to the person. When he went out, he saw hundreds of chickens pecking on the side of the boat, and soon it opened up a big gash on the side. The raging water flooded the area in seconds. Many of the chickens walked out the side and piled up out side of the boat. There was a big mountain of chickens. It looked like a big iceberg. And thats what they blamed it on. Scraping on the side of an iceberg, when it was actually a pile of chickensÐ

So many people and other things died there, it was one big graveyard. So the gods in the sky said that was a perfect place, to put the underworld. There were enough souls there anyways. So then it was agreed, Hades would rule the underworld there. The bum and the surviving chickens rowed a boat to Egypt, and when they reached it he was 30. When he arrived at Egypt, he saw that he had many chickens. He thought he couldnt go on anymore, he thought this was the end. He thought he could die at anytime anywhere. So he turned all the chickens into slaves, and ordered them to build pyramids all over the place, so wherever he died there would be a close

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Big Fat And Red Bird. (April 2, 2021). Retrieved from