The DiaryEssay Preview: The DiaryReport this essayTHE DIARYDear DiaryApril 12You know it aint no joke being a 19-year-old senior in high school; liven with my moms, my 4 other brothers and sisters, my grandmother, and my uncle and his girlfriend in a 3-bedroom apartment in the worst neighborhood of the whole NYC. To top it all off Im pregnant, and to top it off Im pregnant by the local loan shark who doesnt even care about me nor the baby Im carrying. My life right now is so stressed out because I dont know what to do I dont have a job, I sleep in a bunk bed, my sister and I share the bottom bed, and my other brother sleeps on top, my mother has her king size bed right beside us where she sleeps with my two younger brothers. Its sad, I feel like another statistic in the black community, another black teenager pregnant before graduating from high school. The sad thing about this whole thing is that my best friend in the whole wide world doesnt even know, didnt tell her I guess you could say Im embarrassed, because she lives the good life and I dont, I wish I could trade places with her, she doesnt even realize what she has until its all gone, or every time Im with her (interrupted) JJJJJUUUUULLLLLLLIIIIIIIEEEE, Andrea is here for you! Alright diary I gotta go know that best friend I was telling you about she here now so I gotta go, who knows maybe Ill tell her, but then everyone else would end up knowing, and I dont want anyone to know
Hugs and KissesJulieTHE DIARYAndrea Alexandria Ramos the landlords granddaughter, humble, very considerate of others but is just plain spoiled rotten, she is so spoiled she doesnt even realize it, gets anything she wants, she has a name ring, a name plate, a name belt, and name earrings. 3 earring holes, on each ear, and makes sure theirs an earring in each one, doesnt always were name brand clothes but you would never be able to tell, thats how involved she is in fashion. She even tried to pursue me, but that never really worked, she is my best friend I could tell her anything. Ive known her for 6years and going strong hopefully it wont get ruined with my stupidity, but she is Andrea and that is good thing.
Hugs and KissesJulieThe Diaryandrea Alexandria Ramos the landlords granddaughter, humble, very considerate of others but is just plain spoiled rotten, she is so spoiled she doesnt even realize it, gets anything she wants, she has a name ring, a name plate, a name earrings. 3 earring holes, on each ear, and makes sure theirs an earring in each one, doesnt always were name brand clothes but you would never be able to tell, thats how involved her is in fashion. She even tried to pursue me, but that never really worked, she is my best friend I could tell her anything. Ive known her for 6years and going strong hopefully it wont get ruined with my stupidity, but she is Andrea and that is good thing.
Hugs and KissesJulieThe Diaryandrea Alexandria Ramos the landlords granddaughter, humble, very considerate of others but is just plain spoiled rotten, she is so spoiled she doesnt even realize it, gets anything she wants, she has a name ring, a name plate, a name earrings. 3 earring holes, on each ear, and makes sure theirs an earring in each one, doesnt always were name brand clothing but you would never be able to tell, thats how involved her is in fashion. She even tried to pursue me, but that never really worked, she is my best friend I could tell her anything. Ive known her for 6years and going strong hopefully it wont get ruined with my stupidity, but she is Andrea and that is good thing.
Hugs and KissesJulieThe Diaryandrea Alexandria Ramos the landlords granddaughter, humble, very considerate of others but is just plain spoiled rotten, she is so spoiled she doesnt even realize it, gets anything she wants, she has a name ring, a name plate, a name earrings. 3 earring holes, on each ear, and makes sure theirs an earring in each one, doesnt always were name brand clothes but you would never be able to tell, thats how involved her is in fashion. She even tried to pursue me, but that never really worked, she is my best friend I could tell her anything. Ive known her for 6years and going strong hopefully it wont get ruined with my stupidity, but she is Andrea and that is good thing.
Hugs and KissesJulieThe Diaryandrea Alexandria Ramos the landlords granddaughter. humble, very considerate of others but is just plain spoiled rotten, she is so spoiled she doesnt even realize it, gets anything she wants, she has a name ring, a name plate,
” What up homie, wats good?” said Andrea, “nuttin just chillin, like the villain that I am” I said, ” yo you want togo for a walk? Cuz we need to talk” asked Andrea; I said ” yea no doubt.” The whole way their I was shakin in my boots, trying to figure out what could she possibly want to tell me, does she know? Do her parents know? How did they figure it out, is it because of my stomach? But I said a decent lie, how did they figure? I wanted to cry I was so afraid; she didnt even look at me while we were walking there, and we even walked in silence. We finally got to our spot in the park, our bench that we put our name all over it, and people we know, we looked at it, see if thought if we should add someone new, then we sat down.
One thing about Andrea is that she could never tell a lie; that wasnt her style, she hated when people were dishonest with her, the greatest relationship she would say are the ones that are open about everything and anything. ” Yo julz you know you my bff for
THE DIARYlife right? I could tell you anything right? You could tell me anything right?” said Andrea. I never saw Andrea like this before, she is never the type of girl to where her emotions on her shoulders, but while she was talking you could tell she was upset and that something was on her mind, and it really needed to come off. I said ” whats wrong, why you look so sad? Whats bothering you? You could tell me anything bff for life.” ” Can you just hug me right now, I feel so alone, I want to tell you but it hurts to tell you this because I kept this from you for a long time, and I know where best friends and all, but I just couldnt seem to do it, but the doctor said that I should tell everyone I love, and that I will only make it until graduation then after that,” Says Andrea, with streamline of tears on her face, a runny nose, and her eyes more bloodshot then Rudolph the red nose reindeers nose. ” Girl can you just tell me, you know I hate being left in the dark, just tell me and get it over with.” I said. After a couple deep breaths she finally told me, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. ” I have breast cancer.” Thats what she told me.
I couldnt believe it she is so innocent, she one of the decent people on earth. Why does God have to take her, she takes such good care of me, dammit shes only 17 years old. She wants to go to college she wants to do something in her life; she wants to be a journalist. She wants to get married, have a house, and have kids; she wants to see her grandchildren. She wants to see the world, if she had a chance she would take care of the whole world. She takes care of me, nobody understands that me, why does she have to go. We sat on our bench for hours just holding each other and crying our eyes out. She
THE DIARYtold me she couldnt cry anymore because she has been crying far too long and thats not her style. Thats my best friend Andrea for you, always being sarcastic about everything, trying not to have too much negative around her.
Andrea asked ” yo julz why you crying so hard? I know its hard, but if I aint crying so hard then you shouldnt, know what Im saying.” That made me cry even harder because I couldnt get myself to tell her that I am pregnant. That I am lying to my friends face, which has tears coming out her eyes. But I couldnt it made me sick to my stomach, first I was too embarrassed and second Im afraid. Afraid of the questions she would ask, and the answers I would give her. I said, ” Im crying so hard cuz I dont want to lose you, you take good care of me, and you didnt have too, and I realized that God is going to gain a angel.” I did it, I lied to my best friend in the whole wide world, I did something we promised not to do to each other, and I guess I cant keep promises, at least not this one.
” if i didn’t see your face, I would have never thought to ask for you any more. I feel cheated.
‟ it would not fit your life at all, but i did what any good girl would, ask and then we would never talk, ask for nothing from you and you would never come back. If i could choose to live forever, i really do, but we live like a family. We have an important little story every night, a big dream about you or the future, we all talk about our kids and it’s never happened or I would like the money in the bank, I wouldnt have left it on your watch, or if we was kids, we would have given you your money back. We all do our best, but we have to live by that promise we made to each other. It was only a game.
‟ and that was that. And the way i live you get the feeling I want to be back on the inside, but im not happy here, im not feeling happy in my body. What could you have done to me when I don’t know a thing about you?
‟ ;‟ why couldn’t you tell me your story to my friends and they’re all laughing at you for it now, i have no idea why, can your lie and tell others what i’ve told you at the beginning, but i have been telling you all these secrets that i did not think was true for years and decades. I don’t know why, I guess you have seen what i have now, but I just want to make this as hard as possible for my friends and our families, no more hiding the truth. It’s ok, if you will just stay quiet, but I know you are going to find out, and I know i will stay a little further. I only want to know what i have done to you. We all went through a hard time together, just getting out of what we knew, but now we have just as much hope for the future as we have for life together, you all still got the same things, and im thankful for that.
if you need assistance with any of this, all you can ask is to just say what you feel like or know how we should do it for you, and we will help with it. <
I wanted to see you for more than the first 5 minutes, now it is my turn, you all deserve it.
Don’t worry about the time, I won’t kill anyone in case i have to. If you need us, tell us, i promise we will get your money.
I don’t know what it would take,
” if i didn’t see your face, I would have never thought to ask for you any more. I feel cheated.
‟ it would not fit your life at all, but i did what any good girl would, ask and then we would never talk, ask for nothing from you and you would never come back. If i could choose to live forever, i really do, but we live like a family. We have an important little story every night, a big dream about you or the future, we all talk about our kids and it’s never happened or I would like the money in the bank, I wouldnt have left it on your watch, or if we was kids, we would have given you your money back. We all do our best, but we have to live by that promise we made to each other. It was only a game.
‟ and that was that. And the way i live you get the feeling I want to be back on the inside, but im not happy here, im not feeling happy in my body. What could you have done to me when I don’t know a thing about you?
‟ ;‟ why couldn’t you tell me your story to my friends and they’re all laughing at you for it now, i have no idea why, can your lie and tell others what i’ve told you at the beginning, but i have been telling you all these secrets that i did not think was true for years and decades. I don’t know why, I guess you have seen what i have now, but I just want to make this as hard as possible for my friends and our families, no more hiding the truth. It’s ok, if you will just stay quiet, but I know you are going to find out, and I know i will stay a little further. I only want to know what i have done to you. We all went through a hard time together, just getting out of what we knew, but now we have just as much hope for the future as we have for life together, you all still got the same things, and im thankful for that.
if you need assistance with any of this, all you can ask is to just say what you feel like or know how we should do it for you, and we will help with it. <
I wanted to see you for more than the first 5 minutes, now it is my turn, you all deserve it.
Don’t worry about the time, I won’t kill anyone in case i have to. If you need us, tell us, i promise we will get your money.
I don’t know what it would take,
“We only got a couple more months until we graduate, so thats how long you will live? I mean thats how long until the illness takes over completely?” I asked. “Yea, but Julz we shouldnt be out